Good Riddance 2005

I can only wish for a better 2006.

2005 was not good to me, and if you've read even a single entry in this blog you know why, but 2006 offers me 365 new days to somehow get better and enjoy Life again, I can only hope I have the opportunity.

To everyone out there,
I wish you and yours a
Happy New Year
and hope 2006 is better for you too!

RobMac

For The Rest Of Us...

H A P P Y
FESTIVUS

I hope your poles are up, you're prepared for the Feats Of Strength
and all of your grievances are ready to be aired
oh, and a donation has been made
in your name to The Human Fund
* Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza *

RobMac

No Sunglasses Needed For MY Future...

It's not so bright....according to the renal doc who treated me in St. Mary's a few weeks ago.

I had a follow-up visit with him yesterday, standard procedure when released from the hospital, you have to re-see all your doctors 2 weeks after they set you free.

I was informed the creatine levels are at 2.4 : 1.5~1.7 is "normal", 2 is "elevated" and it gets worse from there.

The news I received was two-fold : 1) My kidneys are operating (together) at 40% [not very good] and 2) someone who is at a "level 2" inevitably goes to a "level 3" who invariably goes to "level 4" and then basically kidneys chopped up, then removed, eventually leading to dialysis.

So the short form is that I will one day lose my kidneys.

More about kidneys and creatine levels can be found here.

My father told me to remain optimistic, but you know, after being sick constantly for 10 years, I gave up on "optimistic" 7 years ago.

I didn't sleep well knowing that right now, at age 35, I'm pretty fucked up, and it appears that it's only going to get worse from here on out. Nothing in my future looks so bright that I'll need shades (so the song goes).

Can anyone out there tell me what there is to look forward to in the next 10-20 years (if I make it that far) ? Seriously, I want to know what to hold on to....

The good news?
I have another doctor visit with my urology doctor (from St. Mary's) today, I can't wait to learn what the good news I get today is.

RobMac

Organ Doner? Don't You Need Organs That Work?

Ok, so here's what happened, in chronological order, as best that I can remember:

November 24, Thanksgiving, went to my sister's for dinner with the family, all is well, dinner is great, family is too.

November 25, Friday, I start getting the usuall tell-tale signs of a kidney stone in my left kidney, they get worse as the day progresses until it's very painful and I don't sleep for the next few nights.

November 26 + 27, Saturday & Sunday, pain in left kidney area moves through the days down toward the lower back area, then movement appears to stop...pain increases and no stones are passing. Something's there, and it's refusing to go any further.

November 28, Monday, pain increases, movement of stone appears stalled in ureter outside of bladder, urine output slows to almost nothing. I begin to worry. I begin to suspect renal infection/failure.

Novmber 29, Tuesday - Ok, that's enough. I call my doctor, get in to see her pretty quick, she sends me to get a CT Scan at St. Mary Medical Center in Newtown, PA. CT Scan shows major problems and I am admitted through the ER. In an amazing development, I am admitted and am receiving intensive treatment within hours of arriving for my CT Scan, at most other hospitals it usually takes 4-5 hours just to be SEEN by someone in the ER!

At 1030pm Tuesday night I am being sedated so I can have a stent inserted in through my bladder up to my left kidney to open it, and the doc finds 3 large stones along the way! So now I have a stent in my left kidney/ureter.

By Wednesday morning I am in ICU and undergoing major & intensive treatment for renal failure & Sepsis

I am in ICU ("Close to death") for 6 days, being pumped full of anything laying around with about 6 doctors working to keep me around. Finally, my kidneys start working again and all appears well. I have the indignity of a Foley Catheter insterted Wednesday morning, too many IVs to count and people pulling me in and out of consciousness for the next few days, not letting me slip away to peace.

The nerve of some people.

Finally, all seems to be going well enough to move me out of ICU on Monday morning and I am released Tuesday, Decemeber 6.

Now, I'm home, taking 6 pills a day (to try to break down the kidney stones), getting a vancomycen treatment every day until the 13th (anti-biotic, I have a PICC Line again and give myself an IV of vanco), and every Saturday for the next 8 weeks I will be getting a procrit injection as well, to help the blood loss.

I am alive, once again, and it's getting very tiring....
I wish it would all go away ; one way or another.

RobMac

Back From Death....No, Really!

Bigger post tomorrow, but in a nutshell
- my obituary almost read -
July 3, 1970 ~ November 29, 2005

I was moments away from death due to kidney failure and septic poisoning. Luckily, one of my local area hospital's, St. Mary Medical Center in Newtown, PA, saved my life.

Details tomorrow....I have just gotten home and want nothing more than an alarm-free, nuresless, warm bed to sleep in....something I thought I'd never have - once again.

RobMac

Happy Halloween, Everyone!

Good News & A Slow Future Ahead

I saw my orthopedist today and he reviewed the results of the EMG test from last week and although the nerve will take some time to heal, slowing the healing process of the shoulder, he does not want to wait to do the surgery on the shoulder since the longer we wait the worse the shoulder could get, so I'm going to have the surgery very soon.

I go for pre-admission testing down at Methodist Hospital in South Philly next Friday, the 16th at 8am, and then the surgery itself is scheduled for Friday, September 22nd, two weeks from tomorrow.

This surgery is usually done on an out-patient basis, but he wants to keep me over night to be sure I don't develop and infection and to have a physical therapist show me the new PT exercises the day after the surgery, as well as control my immediate pain while there (and hopefully afterwards). So I'll be in the hospital on the 22nd & 23rd, assuming all goes well.

He warned, as the nerve doctor did, that recovery will be slow and painful, taking 6-9 months (possibly more for full motion) but at the very least all the PT I'll be doing from the 23rd onward will be towards getting my arm back and (eventually) losing the pain. Everything up unitl now (since June 3rd) was to keep the arm from freezing up, making recovery harder.

So it could be until March or May (or beyond) of 2006 until I'm "normal" again...all this from a stupid 2-foot fall into my TV...sigh.

RobMac

Results of EMG & My Possible Future

I saw my Orthopedist, Dr. John Fenlin, on Tuesday (August 30) with the idea that we were to discuss surgery since I just finished 5 weeks of physical therapy (hereafter = PT) only to be told that he's concerned about possible nerve damage in the shoulder and he wants to be absolutely sure of all possible conditions before he goes in, so he wanted me to have an Electromyography (hereafter = EMG) test, I was lucky enough to get one scheduled (downtown, ugh) today, September 1, and since I was able to get the results today as well I was able to get an appointment to see Dr. Fenlin again next Wednesday (September 7), though that may not be necessary (see below).

So once again the Third Option rears its ugly head (why am I not surprised?). I go in expecting to hear one thing and hear something completely unexpected that slows progess to a crawl.

I had the EMG test done downtown today, we got lucky with traffic and made it in about 35 minutes, getting me to the office about 50 before my scheduled 8:00am appointment, luckily they took me in at 7:50am.

The tests took about 90 minutes in total, from getting my medical history to testing my range of motion and then hitting me with a hammer to sticking me with needles and shocking the nerves to test the responses to see if there is any damage. Overall the doctor (Dr. G.J. Herbison) seemed pleased that there appears to be no severe damage and that after 3 months (I fell 90 days ago today) I appear to have healed quite nicely, though there's still a good amount of healing to do.

So the good news is : I'm healing ok (nerves, not muscles since they're still torn) but the bad (and possibly horrible) news is : I could have surgery now but the nerve still needs to heal which means I won't have motion in the arm until that happens, so a surgery now will still result in waiting for the nerve to heal, so it's more likely the doc will want to wait until the nerve heals in more completely and then do the surgery so I'll have motion immediately afterwards, though I'll still need PT either way. The horrible part of that news is that it could be SIX months until that nerve heals in completely!

So I could be looking at surgery no sooner than March 2006!!!

This does NOT make me happy, especially since the extreme pain will not go away in the next 6 months, and the last 3 months were hell, this would be devastating news if that's what the doc wants to do - I won't really know until I talk to him (he did not do this test). I have an appointment to see him next Wednesday, September 7, so I may know more then. I am going to see if I can get his opinion on the results of the EMG test over the phone since it would be better/easier/cheaper than driving all the way back downtown just to be told face to face what I could be told over the phone. It would save 3-4 hours of travel/waiting, $15 co-pay, $9 parking if this is something that can just be told to me.

Either way, if he does decide to go ahead with the surgery now (which I doubt since he'd want full recovery right away, it'd keep his "Best" label accurate since it avoids the possibility of me telling others "it didn't work right away") then it could still be months until I'm anywhere near "normal", but if it ends this pain then I'd be willing to do it this way, otherwise he may want to wait the 6 months to ensure full immediate recovery (which gives me another half a year of Hell).

I'll keep you posted.

RobMac

Long Overdue Update (Long)

I have been absent for good reason - here's my recent "History", placed here to share with loved ones so I don't have to type it over and over in lots of emails and to keep available on the World Wide Web for posterity....

May 30 (Memorial Day) Went to Lorraine’s, in lots of pain in right kidney.

June 3 Was asleep on recliner in living room, got up at 3am and “collapsed” into TV, smashing right shoulder, used left wrist to try to break fall, pinched nerve, hurt ever since, fell to ground on right hip (weighed 260lbs) and hip has hurt ever since.

June 6 Hip, wrist & right shoulder in extreme pain, went to family doctor who referred me to Lower Bucks Hospital (hereafter = LBH) ER where they took x-rays of shoulder and diagnosed (incorrectly) as “sprained”, stating it would heal in 2-6 weeks. They gave me pain reliever Dilauded, which does not help very much at all (Neither does Percocet, Tylenol 3 or Morphine, I‘ve become immune to their effects). Also diagnosed with kidney infection, which most likely contributed to (if not caused) The Fall.

June 20 Passed fairly large kidney stone. Down to 220lbs.

June 27 Three weeks have passed since ER visit, not feeling any better, in fact I’m feeling much worse. Visit family doctor again who orders an MRI. Called LBH and scheduled MRI for June 29. Also complained again about hip & wrist, doc suggests I have inflammation around both areas of impact and puts me on Naproxen (Anti-inflammatory, 500mg - 1 tablet, twice daily).

June 28 Passed HUGE kidney stone.

June 29 MRI at LBH - 915am.

June 30 Called my family doctor about results of MRI - I have a “Full Rotator Cuff Tear” (resulting in the extreme pain I’ve been feeling, this will not heal on its own, surgery is most likely needed). Dr. Morgenstern wants me to see Orthopedist Dr. McPhilemy. I call Dr. McPhilemy’s office and am told he’s “Out of the office until Wednesday” (July 6).

July 5 Called Dr. McPhilemy’s office back and am told he’s now “Out of the office” until “Next week” and that the first appointment to see him is “mid-August” (in about 6 weeks). I called Dr. Morgenstern’s office back at 9am, left message for him about the situation. Called Dr. Morgenstern’s office again at 11am to leave another message. Called Dr. Morgenstern’s office AGAIN at 330pm to see if the other two messages were ever delivered - they were I was just never called back. Turns out Dr. Morgenstern wants me to “wait to see Dr. McPhilemy”. I said that is unacceptable and the office said they’d leave him a note for “first thing tomorrow morning as he’s gone home for the day” (they can’t call a doctor at home!?!). I am in so much pain on a daily basis that I’m nauseous ALL the time.

July 6 Heard from Dr. Morgenstern’s office, the suggested trying Dr. Aland (215-702-0600) or any of the doctors at Makefield Orthopedics (267-757-0560). Never got an answer to the anti-inflammatory question, so I asked Mary to ask Dr. Morgenstern again if it should have had some effect since I started taking it last Monday (June 27) and if it should to let it know it hasn’t and does he recommend something else. Dad came over with a list of possible Orthopedic Surgeons, he tried Dr. John Fenlin at The Rothman Institute @ Jefferson University (Center City) first, he can see me next Tuesday (July 12) at 9:30am so he scheduled an appointment. We did not try any other doctors on the list as Dr. Fenlin is supposed to be “The Best”. Mary calls back saying Dr. Morgenstern wants me to discontinue the Naproxen and start Vicopropen instead (7.5mg/200mg - Every 8 hours).

July 12 Appointment to see Dr. Fenlin at 9:30am. Dr. can’t operate because shoulder is “too tight” and I need to do 4 weeks of physical therapy (hereafter = PT) to loosen the muscles which will make surgery & recovery easier. Will need PT after surgery as well. Doc sent me to the PT department at Jefferson to get instructions and prescription. Called NovaCare Rehabilitation to schedule PT visit and made appointment for Tuesday, July 19 at 11am. I am to do 6 different PT exercises at home on my own 3 times a day.

July 19 PT appointment - 11am. Paperwork and base readings taken, no actual PT done.

July 21 PT - 11am. Did all 6 normal exercises plus therapist stretched arm in all directions and received electrical stimulation therapy with ice packs (this becomes the standard PT drill, all taking about 1 hour per visit).

July 25 PT - 9am.
July 27 PT - 1030am.
July 29 PT - 1030am.
Aug. 1 PT - 10am.
(Cancelled 8/1 @ 8am - Kidney Stone, Passed!)
Aug. 3 PT - 9am.
Aug. 5 PT - 930am.
Aug. 8 PT - 9am.
Aug. 10 PT - 11am.
(Cancelled 8/10 @ 945am - Migraine)
Aug. 12 PT - 930am.
Aug. 15 PT - 330pm.
Aug. 17 PT - 2pm.
Aug. 19 PT - 930am.
Aug. 23 PT - 1130am.
Aug. 25 PT - 11am.

Aug. 30 Appointment with Dr. Fenlin to discuss state of shoulder as a result of PT & possible surgery options - 310pm.

Sept. 1 EMG test downtown to check for nerve damage - 8am.

Sept. 7 Appointment with Dr. Fenlin to discuss EMG test results & possible surgery options - 310pm.

Reading Is Fun!

There are books I like to read, and there are books I'm not ready for. Books about reality and spirituality and alternate medicine are not some of the subjects I go out of my way to find and even when they're brought to my attention I usually pass on them for something more in the line of fantasy and entertainment.

I am a huge fan of Douglas Adams, for example, and absolutely love his Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and Dirk Gently series. Hitchhiker's being a long-time favorite of mine in all it's incarnations and I am counting the days until April 29 (17, BTW) because that's when Adams' 20-odd-year dream of a major motion picture of his vision will become a reality, and from what I've seen in the way of the Trailers, it's going to be a fun ride all the way! I'm saddened that Adams himself will not have gotten to see this latest incarnation of his universe. (He passed away May 11, 2001)

But right now I am in the process of reading the novel version of Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge Of The Sith and am taking a break to write this only because I've been reading most of the day and needed a break.

"Why read the book" You might ask? "Won't that spoil the movie?"
Yes.
Plain and simple.

It will spoil the movie, but you see, while I am counting the minutes until the movie comes out (51,840) I am more interested in the story, how it all comes together, how it answers all the questions left by the other 5 films and how it bridges the story, and a book is the absolute best way to fill all those gaps, not just the visual ones, but the emotional and internal ones. The story is what I'm interested in and reading the book is fulfilling that desire, so while it's spoiling the movie, that's not what I care about.

I'll still see the movie, probably more than a few times, and I'm sure I'll love it, but I'll have a deeper understanding of what I'm seeing and a fuller sense of the story, and for me, that makes watching the movie the best possible experience.

I read the novels for the previous two movies as well (The Phantom Menace and Attack Of The Clones) and in both cases the movie-going experience was enhanced by knowing the story before I saw how it played out in a visual form. The novels, in both cases, were better than the movies because a novel can take it's time, it can explain character's actions and thoughts that do not translate well to the silver screen, and the novels always have scenes that are cut or shortened just prior to release, so it's a more complete experience.

Just two examples of how the novels bested the movies (spoilers only for Episodes I & II):
Episode I-The Phantom Menace : There is a deeper explanation of how Obi-Wan deals with Qui-Gon's suggestion that Obi-Wan is ready for the Jedi Trials when he suggests that to the Jedi Council in order to take Anakin as his new padawan learner. While on the surface it seems innocent enough it was in fact quite hurtful to Obi-Wan that Qui-Gon would push him aside in order to be able to train Anakin since the Council did not want to do it themselves. This relationship between Master and Learner (Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan) went much deeper than we saw on screen.
Episode II-Attack Of The Clones : There's a whole chapter dealing with Shmi Lars' (Skywalker's) capture by the Tusken Raiders and Clieg's posse pursuing them and how he lost his leg and how he wishes he could do more to save her. The movie glosses over all of this by having Clieg say "I had to wait until my leg healed" and he comes across as having given up. The novel goes into great detail about how Clieg gathered many many people to help search for Shmi and how he lost his leg and how bad he feels. These are character moments that are buried beneath the action and glossed over for the sake of running time.

Am I suggesting you run out and read the book.....kind of, but with the warning that it should only be read by someone who wants to experience the story in all it's glory, if you're avoiding spoilers at all costs because you want to experience the story as the film unspools, by all means: WAIT to read the book until after May 19 (as I'm sure by the 20th you'll have seen the movie a few times).

If you do decide to read the novel, I would like to suggest that you first read Labyrinth Of Evil by James Luceno, it's a prequel story that flows directly into Revenge Of The Sith by Matthew Stover, literally. Labyrinth ends with Anakin & Obi-Wan in their starfighters making a hyperspace jump to Coruscant and Sith opens with Anakin & Obi-Wan coming out of hyperspace above Coruscant. There are references throughout Sith that are from events that took place in Labyrinth, so they compliment each other well. I highly recommend reading Labyrinth before reading Sith.

This is just what I do, and why I do it.

RobMac

And Now Back To Our Show...

It's been a while, and while a lot has happened in the world, not so much has happened with me (hence my long silence).

While the kidney stone surgery back in December was a success, things have moved backward since.

About 3 weeks ago I did two consecutive "24 Hour Urine Tests" (so 48 hours total) and sent them in (it's a process I won't go into right now, suffice it to say I didn't have to send in all the urine I collected). I will have to go to the hospital next week and have another procedure done; a Renal Ultrasound to see if any stones have regrown (though I know for a fact they have since I've passed 3 in the last 5-6 weeks!). I have been passing gravel (in addition to the 3 decent-sized stones) but I can't be sure if it's all left-overs from the surgery 3 months ago or "new" stuff.

The urine test will determine if anything in my diet is contributing to the formation of the stones and if there is any medication and/or dietary changes that will slow/stop the formation of future stones.

I see my urologist again on April 19, so more news after that visit.

I am happy and depressed (the story of my life); Happy because it has finally gotten nice outside (it was up to 77*F today) and depressed because I am in too much pain to go anywhere or do anything worthwhile.

I want to go to the Strasburg Railroad and Pennsylvania Railroad Museum (right across the street and near Lancaster, PA) or go down the Jersey Shore to walk in the surf and sand in my bare feet, but since both are a 90 minute drive away, I don't feel like I would enjoy it much since I'd have to walk quite a bit at either destination (my back feels like it gets snapped in half after walking the DVD aisle at my local Best Buy!) so I'm a bit afraid that I'd do more damage than good by doing either.

I did take a ride around town in my convertible and got a nice tan/burn on my face and arms (I don't tan, really, I have levels of burn that I get, this was mild and acceptable) so I feel a small sense of accomplishment today, but wish I did more to stimulate my mind.

That's all from me, I wish there was more to report (specifically some good news) but I'll try to post more often.

RobMac

Space...The Final Frontier....These Are Not About The Voyages Of The Starship Enterprise

First things first, for those reading this on Thursday, March 10, tune into The O.C. tonight on Fox (Channel 29 here in Philly). I'm serious. I don't normally watch this show, in fact I've never seen a single episode, but I will watch tonight.

You see, tonight the folks at Fox will premiere the all new, full length Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge Of The Sith Trailer, a day before it's shown at theaters before Robots and before it's even available to subscribers of StarWars.com's Hyperspace. If the Teaser is any sign of what's to come, the Trailer should totally rock!! Be sure to record it (or better yet TiVo it!) and watch it again and again.

Those with Comcast Cable and the On Demand feature can check out the Teaser under Movies and then Trailers, go down to "S" for Star Wars.

Secondly, and up there on on Cool Meter, is a new feature at SciFi.com for their remake of Battlestar Galactica. Ronald D. Moore (Producer) is now doing "Podcasts", which are full length commentaries that can be listened to on your iPod (or other MP3 player) while you watch the show (there are beeps when you should pause for commercials). I have listened to the first podcast for Episode 109 (#9 - "Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down" aired 3/4/05) and they've just added the Podcast for the upcoming Episode 110 (#10 - "The Hand Of God", due to air tomorrow night, 3/11/05).

I wonder why it took so long for someone to think of this!?!

You can either download Podcasting software (free) and link to the SciFi.com site (the program will automatically download any new podcasts it finds for new episodes) or you can just download the MP3 either in parts, (each part between commercials) or the whole thing (I downloaded the whole thing, I am burning my own DVDs of the series, so I remove the commercials anyway, and I was able to listen to the whole thing uninterrupted - very cool).

This could be a whole new way for Directors and Producers to release commentaries for TV shows or even movies (without re-releasing another DVD)!!! I am excited about the possibilities, I only hope this idea grows in popularity and doesn't fall into the cracks of oblivion.

There's also now a Full Trailer (in addition to the Teaser) available for The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (The Movie!), check it out HERE.
Be a hoopy frood - pack your towel and Babel Fish, warm up your Infinite Improbability Drive and stick out that sub-ether "Thumb"!

UPDATE (9:02pm) - That was awesome!!!
If the movie's even 1/10th as good as this Trailer was, we finally have a Prequel that lives up to the Original Trilogy!!!

UPDATE (11:15pm) - I knew it wouldn't take long, now you don't have to be a Hyperspace member at StarWars.com to see the Trailer online, download it from HERE or HERE (right click and Save As)....pretty decent quality, though SW.com will be better.

Only 69 Days until
Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge Of The Sith
releases in North America!!!

RobMac

77th Annual Academy Awards

Why not stop by my Oscar 2005 site and see who I predicted to win, and who actually won!?

RobMac

Happy New Year!!

It's 4702 : The Year Of The Rooster

Poo Poo Head

Check out this fan made "Trailer" for a hilarious
sneak peek at how Star Wars should end...
(Click the logo above to go to a download page)

Whatever your view of the War
This is the day that changes History forever
GOOD LUCK, IRAQ

SUPERBOWL XXXIX BOUND

THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
After 24 years and 3 recent "almosts"...
This year we're going to the 39th Superbowl....!!!!!

Thanks For Watching, Goodnight

John William Carson
October 23, 1925 - January 23, 2005
Thanks for all the laughs, Johnny, you will be missed.

Michael Dean Cohen
January 29, 1956 ~ January 13, 2004

Rough Day Ahead

Tomorrow, the 13th, will be a doubly hard day for my emotions this year.

First, I am dealing with the first anniversary of the death of my best friend, Michael. He had a long, drawn out battle with something last year from December 2, 2003 until his final defeat on January 13, 2004. It's hard because we will never know exactly what happened since no autopsy was done. The doctors didn't want to do one on their own (I guess they were afraid that it might show negligence on their part) and Michael's brother didn't want one because it would cost money, and I couldn't order one since I am not a relative, I was just the name on Michael's Living Will to give the final order to end his suffering.

Second, my brother-in-law's sister-in-law (my sister's husband's brother's wife) died suddenly on Saturday and her Memorial/Burial is tomorrow also.

So I am having to deal with the death of two people who were close to me on the same day. Death, on the same day, two years in a row. Who's next year's casualty? Is this my torture from now on? Mental/Emotional instead of physical?

I was planning a quite reflective day tomorrow but now I have to be selfless instead of selfish and go share my grief. It's gonna be hard holding my personal emotions about Michael back while trying to comfort my brother-in-law's family.

They say it gets easier after the first year, but I doubt it really will ever get easier. My brother-in-law has already gone through this with the loss of his brother a few years ago, and he agrees that it doesn't get easier with time. Holidays and special events continue to remind you of the person you lost....years after they're gone.

Michael was my best friend.

I have only ever had one other best friend, Matt from high school, and although he's alive and well, working for Disney as a chef at Disney World, I haven't really seen him in the many years since he moved away after high school. I met Michael at work and we shared interests and became fast friends.

He was my brother for all intents and purposes.

I miss him greatly.

RobMac

Back To Work...Sort Of

I resumed a hobby of sorts...for the first time since August 2004 I went out to the movies. I have written a few reviews over the last few days for Garden State, Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (see both reviews here)& today I finally saw (and reviewed) The Incredibles (See that review here).

While not a full-time, part-time, or even a real job, it is just something I like to do since I like movies so much, so I'm sort of returning to normal.

Now, I just need to get back to my real full-time job at Amtrak, which I've been off on Medical Leave from for about 4 years. Once I do that, I can really feel normal again.

Before I do that though I am playing with the idea of taking a short vacation, something I haven't really had since 1999 when I went to Florida and visited my aunt and experienced Hurricane Floyd first hand (though it was rather mild). I am very tentatively toying with the idea of Las Vegas. I have a relative out there who wants me to visit and I've always wanted to see The Strip first hand. I'm not a gambler, so the casinos don't really interest me, but I'd love to see the Hotels and specifically the Las Vegas Hilton since they host Star Trek: The Experience. I could spend a few days enjoying that exhibit.

This is all very tentative and no plans have been made, I may be forced to return to work by pressure from my folks, but since it's been 6 years since I've had a vacation of any kind and it'll be at least another year and a half until I get an official vacation from work, it's now or never. So that's an idea running through my head right now.

RobMac

A New Year, A New Beginning, A New Life

Firstly, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone out there in Blogland.
May 2005 hold as many promises for you as it does for me now.

Ok, the update you've all been waiting for (whoever you are out there):

I went into Jefferson University Hospital in center city Philadelphia on Monday, December 27 at 9:30am and had surgery performed on my right kidney from about Noon until 6:00pm. I thought I'd be out for an hour or two....I had no idea I'd be out for SIX HOURS!

When I woke up from the anethesia the recovery room was empty but for me and a nurse to make sure I was comfortable. She kept me pumped full of morphine (which I stopped when I went to a room since morphine makes me ill) and when I was wheeled from one building (where the OR is) to the other (where the rooms are) through a cross-bridge over the streets of Philadelphia, it was dark out! Of course it was dark, it was 6pm, but in my mind I had just nodded off for a minute. The last thing I remember was being prepped in the OR staging area....I wasn't even in the OR when they sedated me, so going from a breezy, chilly, bright morning being wheeled to the OR it was more than a little disconcerting to have it be so dark being wheeled back.

I got settled in a room (alone, thank goodness as I never get good roommates, it's always someone who can't talk and I have to call the nurses for them when they fall out of bed trying to escape at 3am or they have a hearing problem and listen to the TV at un-godly levels until their family shows up to visit for 5 hours and they all try to talk on top of one another in raised voices so as to be heard over the din of Murder She Wrote).

A private room; my first indication that things might go better than planned.

At midnight Monday they made me get out of bed (with 2 catheters coming out of my dangly bits and a nephrostomy tube still draining my kidney through my back, plus an IV drip in my left arm and oxygen tubes up my nose, burning the hell out of the back of my throat which was now raw due to the tube they stick down your throat during surgery so you don't choke) to go down to radiology to get a CT Scan taken (I knew they'd do it Tuesday but at 1 minute into Tueday at Midnight?! I guess if they're there they may as well get it over with ASAP).

After having the CT Scan I was still out of sorts because here it is midnight, or so I keep hearing, and on the radio in some of the halls was the Eagles game broadcast still going on. The Eagles still playing at midnight? I'm not a huge football fan but I seem to recall games ending far earlier, so I am unsure if it's midnight or Noon, and since all I have are people's words that it's midnight and the sun is nowhere to be seen it must be true. Turns out it was true, the Eagles played a late game that went even later.

The CT Scan was to check to make sure they got all the stone during the 6 hour surgery, if there was any left I was already still scheduled for the OR again on Wednesday, but turns out they got every bit of it and I got a clean CT Scan!!! No more surgeries!!!

So I had the scan done and I have to get off the gurney outside my room to get back into bed, again needing about 3 nurses to help me carry all my tubes and wires. Dr. Frankenstein would have been proud....He's Alive! Alive!! They then removed my oxygen since my blood-oxygen levels were good and I complained about how raw my throat was and the oxygen blowing through my nose right onto the back of my throat was making it worse.

One tube down, 4 to go!!

Tuesday morning comes and I'm running a fever, which I chalk up to all my body's been through and the activity of the night before; it won't break until Thursday morning, but by then I'm feeling much better anyway.

I had a normal breakfast Tuesday morning (something I never get when I'm in the hospital; real food!!). They then removed me from the IV drip as long as I promised to drink lots, which I did since there's really nothing else to do in the hospital.

Two tubes down, 3 to go!!

Tuesday's lunch was a chicken pot pie, which was quite filling coming shortly after breakfast (breakfast came around 10am and lunch around Noon) so I only nibbled on it. Now when the food came I started getting these wierd things happening; even though I had 2 catheters coming out of me I had the sudden (and intense) pressure and felt like I needed to pee, which I thought the catheters would relieve, and after a while the pressure seemed to subside without incident, but as Tuesday went on and Wednesday's lunch came I found it impossible to hold it in and all through Wednesday and Wednesday night into Thursday morning I peed myself 5 times. I was eventually able to predict the big ones and catch the escaping urine in a cup so it didn't get the bed wet, but it was destroying me mentally.

I just want to say here publically that nurses (and nurses aides) are actual angels, here on earth to care for people like myself who can't and they don't even bat an eye at the most menial task or normally disgusting bodily function gone awry. They always were quick to clean me and the bed and they always had a smile on their face or kind words of comfort to say. They are the ture unsung heroes of the medical profession. Doctors know they're something special and sometimes it works against them, nurses (and the aides) never think of themselves as special yet each and every one of them are; moreso than doctors in my opinion.

So with these new pains whenever food came around, I didn't eat dinner Tuesday or breakfast Wednesday, but Wednesday's lunch was delicious; a turkey sandwich on a crescent roll. Hospital food has gotten better over the last 9 years I've been in and out of them. Wednesdays dinner was a stuffed chicken breast with a baked potato & sour cream. Mmmmm......yummy. I wasn't even going to let wetting myself stop me from enjoying the dinner, though I did have to wait about 10 minutes to eat it since I peed myself as soon as it came.

Wednesday morning they take the nephrostomy tube out of my back and bandage the hole up as best they can, but I've had that damn tube in for over 14 weeks and it's a hole right into your kidney, so it's not going to heal like an IV hole, and it leaked all Wednesday and Wednesday night, but come Thursday morning it had closed and dried up.

Three tubes down, 2 to go!!

Being that it was now dry they finally took the most horrible of all drain tubes invented; the Foley catheter & the stent that were coming out my (not so) Mr. Happy. Two tubes, one hole that things are supposed to come out of....not go into!! I know the exact feeling of ecstasy & horror at the same time every time they take one of these things out. It hurts so damn much but it's the best feeling to have it out of you for good!

I am told to drink lots of water, which I do and by 2pm Thursday I peed enough that I am officially discharged. I call my folks to come pick me up (it takes them about 45-60 minutes to drive down from Levittown to center city) and by 3:30pm I am on my way home. Now, I've only had the catheters out for a few hours by now and they've been in all week so my bladder doesn't have the control yet that I'd like so the entire ride home I'm worrying about peeing in their new car. I make it home without incident (thank God that I-95 was moving and not a parking lot as it usually is around 4pm).

I've been home now for 2 full days and I cannot feel the golfball (that's what the stone felt like) that was in my back for most of 2004 and I still have the 14-week induced fears of checking to make sure the nephrostomy tube/bag are not caught on anything when I get out of my bed or the chair, though that's passing now. I showered for the first time in 14 weeks yesterday and boy did I miss it, and need it! Mom & Dad swear I didn't smell but a sponge-bath can only get so much grime off you and that's all I was really allowed while having the tube in my back, but to stand under warm running water with actual soap covering every inch of your body is a feeling I never want to forget again.

So now, I'm clean, in a lot less pain, and in better spirits than I have been in in a very very long time.

Last night was bitter-sweet, I got to say good bye and good riddance to 2004 (which took my best friend from me on January 13th & gave me a year-long struggle with a large stone in my kidney) and hello to 2005, a New Year with no stone and a year-out perspective of being friend-less.

I look forward to what 2005 has to offer me.

1996-2004 were not banner years for me. I look forward to getting back to work and the usual grind of everyday Life and the ability to go somewhere if I want to instead of being house-bound and physically restricted to doing anything.

I got a clean slate
Ok World, let's see what you've got to give me now !!!

RobMac